Growing Pains
October 28th, 2025
It had been a normal day until I walked up to my pasture and saw a girl leaning against the gate. It was a cool, Texas winter day in December, and I wasn’t expecting anyone. Her hair was long, only stopping inches below her belt. It was wavy and brunette, just like mine. I used to keep mine that long back in high school, but it’s shorter now.
She turned around as I reached her, and my jaw dropped as I saw her face. My face, about ten years ago; with the same piercing blue eyes and slightly crooked teeth. She looked just as astonished to see me, but not for the same reasons.
"Who are you?" I said shakily.
"Who are you?" she asked.
"I'm Blake, what are you doing here?"
She stepped back, "I can't believe it worked. This must be a dream."
Disbelief colored my face, but I ultimately decided that stranger things have happened. If an unknown force made it so she could come here just to be comforted by me, then I was going to be who she needed. I listened as she explained how she was having the worst night of her life and wished that she might just be able to see a glimpse of how it all turns out. I remembered that night, but I didn’t remember this.
She turned back towards the pasture and asked, “Is that really him?” as she pointed at my oldest and dearest horse, Charm. I rescued him when we were both sixteen, and we’re twenty-seven now. His white coat is turning gray, and he moves slower now, but he’s still my world.
I nodded and asked if she wanted to help me feed him and the others. Without hesitation, she grabbed his worn red halter and unlatched the gate. I laughed, thinking about how much brighter it used to look, and how she knew it was his anyway. He walked straight to her, and she teared up as she caught him. I knew she was probably thinking about how hard it was to do that when I originally brought him home.
“He’s much easier to catch now.”
“No kidding,” she said as she hugged him, “I can’t believe it.”
As I brought in my other horses, I explained that they were my new show horses. She was astonished that there was a future of showing to look forward to, since Charm was never cut out for it, and her eyes glimmered with hope. I know, and remember, that so much of her pain comes from the way she feels like she’s failing as a rider.
Moments later, she asked, “So it really does get better?”
“It really does. I’ve even got buckles to prove it, like we always dreamed. All of your hard work will pay off.”
#
We took care of the horses, then sat in the barn and talked about everything. I didn’t want to take away the magic of learning from your own mistakes, so I didn’t tell her everything, but I said what I could. It hurt me to not give her details about my husband and our son, but I wanted her to enjoy that story unfolding on its own.
She reminded me about what she’s going through: how much that one boy hurt her, and the friends that betrayed her so deeply. It brought up so many memories that I’d almost forgotten. I talked her through it all and reminded her that life is so much bigger outside of that little town, and the pain won’t last forever:
“It feels so dark when you’re in it; the awful boys, bad friends, and the things that don’t go as planned. But you will never be too much for the right people, and there is so much beauty in the unexpected things in life. Just know that every mistake you make, and everything you go through guides you to where you're meant to be. It all guides you here: the middle of everything you ever hoped for. I am so proud of you; proud of us.”
I pulled her in for a hug as a few tears fell, not realizing just how much I needed this too. I went to pull away, and before I could blink, she was gone.
Before I walked back home, I stood against the pasture gate, just as she did, and thought about my life in a different light. Stopping to think about just how far I had come gave me a newfound sense of peace. She came here needing something from me, but by giving her what she needed, I healed a wound in myself that I didn’t realize was there.